Stop Hiding 🚩

LIFE ON URTH - Episode 085

As every week, I find myself facing the empty page.

At the beginning of this project, that stressed me out. Now I’m sitting in my favorite corner of a café, wearing noise-cancelling headphones and listening to my favorite playlist for thinking and writing. The white page looks back at me, challenging. As always, I don’t know what I will fill it with.

By now, though, I know that I will fill it. Publishing a short text every week has become a non-negotiable part of my identity.

As always, cognitive understanding alone wasn’t enough. I already knew that all I needed was enough curiosity to find an interesting topic and write about it. But the fear only eased after I had proven this to myself (many) times.

"Start small. Prove your new identity to yourself in a thousand tiny ways. Soon it will become real in a thousand big ways."
-James Clear, Random Ideas About Life

Last week, I already wrote about identity and attention. The two exist in a cycle of mutual reinforcement: identity directs our attention, but attention also shapes our identity.

This newsletter forces me to engage in curious observation of my world (attention) and to formulate results and insights (identity). Writing then feeds back into how and where I direct my attention.

"Writing essays, at its best, is a way of discovering ideas."
-Paul Graham, The Best Essay

But for this part of my identity to become non-negotiable, it required many negotiations — above all with myself. The most important decision: to share the project with others. That also means facing the fear of the blank page.

It helps me enormously to view fear itself as an experiment. That means not only understanding it well, but also developing a practical stance toward tension through actual trials.

"The most successful people embrace new information as 'software updates' to their brain."

-Sahil Bloom, 7 Questions That May Change Your Life

Of course, it would be nice to enter such experiments only when well prepared. But since the unknown surrounds us at all times, it’s impossible to prepare for every possible source of fear.

The goal of voluntary experiments is therefore not to feel no fear at all. Instead, it is to develop and stabilize the most functional possible relationship to fear (and to the unknown), so that it remains accessible even when we encounter it unexpectedly.

"When you go deep, probing the assumptions, looking from multiple angles, and reformulating things in your own words, the ideas become part of you."
-Henrik Karlsson, Being Patient with Problems

As with preparing for athletic competitions or practicing an instrument for a concert, the aim is to train the right automatisms for the “real thing.” This process is uncomfortable in many places and requires courage, discipline, and resilience. That’s why we are willing to spend money to experience high-level performances by others: It's inspiring.

Examining existing automatisms is the first step in every new domain. To do so, it is particularly important to meet uncomfortable situations with curiosity — because that’s where our automatisms kick in first.

Another fascinating effect of creating publicly is how it changes relationships. Paul Millerd writes about his own experience:

"I became more optimistic not because I started to write better or was right, but because I stopped hiding. I led with my curiosity, vulnerability, and passion and it immediately attracted the kind of people I wanted to meet."
-Paul Millerd, The Pathless Path

I haven’t met completely new people through this project yet. Still, it is already shaping my relationships, even when I merely talk about it. It conveys very different information about my work life than simply stating that I’m close to finishing my specialist training in psychosomatic medicine and psychotherapy.

Whether music or text, sharing art is always an intriguing part of the creative process. It’s not only about content-related feedback, but also about making the self visible for evaluation by others. That alone immediately changes one’s relationship to the work.

Tension is normal. No work is ever all that it could be. Artists are usually painfully aware of that.

"Sharing art is the price of making it. Exposing your vulnerability is the fee."
-Rick Rubin, The Creative Act

Which part of your identity can you be proud of — but still keep too hidden? 🚩

✒️ Quote of the Week: “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” -Abraham Maslow

🎧 Song of the Week: A$AP Rocky - STAY HERE 4 LIFE

Finally, a new album 😂

📺 Video of the Week: The Observer is the Observed

I want to expand the format of this newsletter by responding to comments or questions from readers.
Of course, I’ll need some comments and questions first 😂 So I’d love to hear from you!

Did something in my writing catch your attention?
Was there an idea you found particularly intriguing?
Or is there a question that’s been on your mind related to these topics?

Just reply to this email or write to me at mail@urth.blog 👈

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All the best,

Adrian / Urth

Can’t wait until next week’s edition? Check out my essays.